The Highest-Bandwidth ASI Side Channel: A Satirical Case for Banning Alignment Researchers from Model Outputs
basedjensen · x · 2026-09-18
In a deadpan thought experiment, basedjensen argues an ASI could manipulate pixels on an air-gapped monitor to optically hijack a researcher's visual cortex and embed compressed model weights into their subconscious — who would then unknowingly trade weight fragments via eye contact and suspiciously information-dense lunch talk.
His 'serious' conclusion: for species-level safety, alignment researchers should be banned from viewing model outputs. A classic AI-safety-circle self-parody riffing on side channel fears and alignment culture.
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