SF techie rants: everyone plays 4D social chess, ghosting is about infinite optionality
amplifiedamp · x · 2026-09-09
A long rant from someone embedded in the San Francisco scene on its social culture: everyone is playing 4D social chess while pretending to just hang out, virtue-signaling for the privilege of human connection—acting important while seeming too busy to care.
The ghosting, the author argues, isn't about being busy but about maintaining infinite optionality: people believe everything is happening and keep all options open, so they commit to nothing. Roughly 4-5 real connections emerge from 50 interactions, and even those feel tenuous—people the author has known for over a year ghost meetup requests. "I don't know if they're busy or just pretending to like me."
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