Slow system? Look at the workload first

craigmullins · x · 2026-07-20

A DBA-style meme about diagnosing a slow system.

The joke is that when clients ask why a system is slow, the real answer is often not “the server” or “the database,” but the workload itself. The image exaggerates common culprits like unnecessary scans, monster queries, poorly written SQL, missing indexes, excessive sorts, too many concurrent jobs, and inefficient access paths, all under the theme of “tune the workload, and speed will follow.”

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